DOUBLE DRAGON THE MOVIE (1994)

Video game to movie adaptations…they have gotten a bad rap for years. For every great Mortal Kombat…we get several mediocre Dooms or Resident Evils. For every underrated Street Fighter-ish ones…, we get a handful of House of the Deads. Then there are some so obnoxious and terrible they are in a league of their own. Unfortunately, DOUBLE DRAGON falls into the camp. This follows the same beat of the games where you have two brothers who have to team up to take down the bad guys. We get a terrific T-1000 as the main baddie, who never disappoints. But let’s face it, Robert Patrick never does. Where this goes wrong though is the tone. They should have gone for a serious walkthrough, or taken a page from Mortal Kombat’s playbook and had hokey scenes but kept the straight face doing it. Instead, we get hokey scenes, cheesy humor, and the stopped-being-funny at age 12 when two people look at each other, scream, and then run. They went way over the top on this one. They should have gone the route of a great storyline about two bro’s perhaps fighting it out in a new city after perhaps relocating, or solving a mystery and having to bare knuckle their way to the finish line; we instead get a dumb plot involving some mutated creature, mysterious amulet, cringe humor, and a too-talented-for-this-flick Mr. Robert Patrick, who acts as if he’s in a different movie altogether. Check this one out to see a mid-90s misstep, or Alyssa Milano as head of some punk gang.

SLASH SCENE: Ummmmm…nothing?

SLASH SCORE: 1.5/5