BoneJangles (2017)
Zombies, a sex thirsty revenge seeking succubus witch, a tart cop, an ostentatious transvestite, some virgins and an unkillable supernatural masked psychopath. No, this is not the guest list for Anton Szandor LaVeys birthday party, these are just a few of the characters you will be subjected to in Brett DeJagers 2017 movie Bonejangles. Taking a chance, and willing to waste and hour and fifteen minutes of my life, I hesitantly pressed play and within only minutes it is immediately apparent that I was in for a typical low budget comedy-horror film.
When a police force consisting of 2 cowardly virgins, a big-breasted nympho, and a lip gloss obsessed cross-dresser have to transport the infamous killer Bonejangles to an asylum…. what possibly could go wrong? The answer is…. EVERY horror movie cliche. The town is of course cursed with flesh eating zombies who rise from their graves to avenge the all-powerful succubus witch who was unjustly burned at the stake by the town’s founders. Whilst enjoying the chaos, the beautiful concubine of Satan is also on the hunt for a “Juice Lad” to satiate her need for virgin semen. Our defeated cast decide that their only hope of survival is to use Bojangles. The film is intentionally predictable and follows all the tropes of the classic horror genre with a gratuitous amount of obtuse dark humor scattered through the film. The acting and dialog comes off a bit insipid and awkward but is evidently deliberate. Even though most of the comedy and punchlines fall short, it still induced a few chuckles. Lacking a bit in the blood and gore department, the makeup and special effects was less than mediocre. The most entertaining element of the film was the various homages to classic horror movie scenes and characters (including a sad attempt at a Bruce Campbell). The only other noteworthy aspect was the very small appearance of actor Reggie Banister (known for his role in the Phantasm movie series). My recommendation is that an appreciation for b-rate horror is necessary to justify spending that 1hr and 15min of your lifespan.
Gore Score: 1.5/5
Best Cheesy One Liner: "Relax Sugar Tits"
